Here is how I remember it:
We are sitting at the dining room table: mother is at the head with Ross directly across from her. Grandpa Willard is to the right of my brother with Grandma Clara next to him. I sit to the left of Ross with Liz to the right of mother. It is my 10th birthday. The conversation has been lively, the food hot and good, and the anticipation for my presents growing with each passing minute. Grandpa and Grandma are extra excited about giving me my gift. They exchange glances and giggles. I am thrilled to see what is inside the extra big and extra heavy package.
Finally, happy birthday is sung, candles are extinguished, and dishes are cleared. My gifts are laid before me. I know which gift I will open first. With great zeal, I tear into the package. All eyes watch me as I rip into the paper, then the box, and behold my gift. The laughter ripples around the table. Grandpa and Grandma are delighted by their surprise. And immediately, as I raise the gift from the box, I burst into tears.
Yesterday, I visit my 97-year-old grandma at the care center. She is dressed in her navy skirt, pink sweater, blue pearls, and pink-as-a-petal lipstick. She is darling. She greets me from her wheelchair-all smiles, yet searching for who I am. After introductions, she grasps again that I am her granddaughter. We look through new photos; I share stories of my kids; and I ask questions. Mother is also with us. She has with her the two poems Grandma memorized in 8th grade. If my math is correct, the year was 1925 when she committed the two-page poems to memory. I create a lesson plan in my head for next year's 9th graders; they will have a gift to give their grandchildren. I have with me some recipes and she looks over the rice pudding recipe written in her gentle scrawl. I see a few memories percolating in her mind. Memories too percolate in my mind and I ask her if she remembers her bread and butter pickles. "How did you cut those cucumbers so thin?" I ask. She doesn't know. "Did you have to soak them in vinegar?" I ask hoping to jog something in her memory. She doesn't recall. Soon this part of our conversation is over; she is hoping she has some roast beef made for me to take home to my husband. She knows that Grandpa, who sadly has not been with us for 19 years, would love some roast beef and mashed potatoes. It is a bitter sweet moment.
Last week, I bought "State Fair" quality bread and butter pickles at the grocery store. I was more than disappointed. They are cut too thick for my liking, they are not sweet enough, they do not resemble Grandma's homemade kind.
The birthday gift I received for my 10th birthday-the biggest monster jar of Grandma's bread and butter pickles you have ever seen. Oh how I wish I could erase my tearful response. Oh how I wish I could taste Grandma's pickles again and could hear Grandpa's laughter. Oh how I wish that when we were young we could appreciate the love, beauty, and generosity of what we are given. Grandma doesn't remember how to make her pickles and I never learned. And anything store bought is never the same.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Lulu.com-your poetry has been published
Hey Graduates,
You've been published!
Here is a link to help you find the poetry collection put together from my four periods of 12th grade English.
A special thanks to Ms. G. and Anna Marie (Tino) for coordinating this publication.
I hope it is something you will keep and will share with others.
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